You know, ive never cried in front of the entire team before. Tears fell after the whistle was blown, and it all just hit me quite hard later. The heat was killing, but thats not an excuse for myself. Like coach said, we can only control our personal performance.
And its no secret that i played really really badly today.

It felt terrible, i felt so disappointed in myself. I wanted to say that im sorry that i was such a disappointment. Im sorry teammates, coach, and all the people who believed in me. But saying sorry wouldnt mend anything, it wouldnt change the score, and it wouldnt make anyone feel better. At some point i just thought that coach should leave me on the bench for the rest of season.

I tried, i really really did, but sometimes its just not enough. Maybe you'll say that it is, because so long as you try your best, its enough. But something inside tells me that it isnt for me. I havent been performing. I have been disappointing. We drew, but we should have won it. The team wouldnt blame anyone, because we are one team, and for that, thank you for everything.

Should i give up, or should i just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?
I'll keep chasing pavements :}
Afterall, season hasnt ended. We can still achieve our goal if we really want to.

Thanks for the hugs, talk and comfort :)
If i get to play again after my horrendous performance today, i'll give my heart and soul.

I told myself that on the pitch today, and i still will.

I guess i'll just take a break for awhile tmr, and rest my ankle :)
Dont worry alright im fine, im an emotional kid and i cry and laugh really hard. i'll get back, and we'll show who we are on sat. No more regrets.

:)
6:25 PM